Grey's Anatomy: The Emerald City Bar

Live from Seattle - It's... Derek Shepherd?!

I’m a good guy.  A kind-hearted fella who keeps his bar open for people during certain times of need.  I don’t ask for much in return.  A simple “thanks,” a handshake or even season tickets to the Seahawks would suffice.  But, a song – written by one of the world’s leading brain surgeons, performed by several of the world’s leading doctors – well, I would never accept such an extraordinary token of appreciation…  Only tonight, I did!

Derek Shepherd.  Son.  Brother.  Friend.  Neurosurgeon.  Singer-Songwriter?!?!  Yes, indeed, folks.  Once upon a time, renaissance man Derek Shepherd apparently played the guitar and wrote folksy love songs for all his lady friends.  Tonight, one of his little gems made its way to Seattle Grace, courtesy of Mark Sloan, Addison Montgomery and Sam & Naomi Bennett – God bless ‘em all.

With Addison’s brother in the hospital and the whole gang back together, I figured it was going to be a late night at the bar.  So I kept my doors open WAY past closing time (solely for Derek and crew), and, I’m certainly glad I did.  Hearing Mark Sloan SING was soooo worth staying up until 6 AM!  Now I know why Mark opted for plastics instead of some freaky boy band.  The dude CANNOT sing.  Naomi and Sam?  Yeah, sure…  they can carry a tune.  But, Mark Sloan?  Well…  I’m pretty sure my man is tone deaf.

I could tell Derek was pretty embarrassed by the whole thing.  The word is that he wrote this song for Addison, and performed it at their wedding.  Sadly, I didn’t hear Derek sing his now-infamous (yet touchingly-poignant) lyrics aloud tonight (I would’ve paid for that), but I DID get to hear McDreamy’s songwriting skills.  And, I must say, not bad…  If you’re into that sorta thing:

…Addison Montgomery
I met her in the summer, she
Was cutting up a very dead body
But in her eyes I saw my life
I knew she would become my wife
She would breathe the life back into me
For every day until eternity
Or until we were as dead as that body…

Okay, so perhaps it’s not the most radio-friendly or Top-40-worthy tune you’ve ever heard.  And, maybe – just maybe – Derek should stick to removing worms from people’s brains.  But, you gotta admit, it’s got a certain charm.  Dude.  I’ve gotta figure out how to work my webcam so you can see this stuff for yourself.

I wonder if Meredith heard about her boyfriend’s “hidden talents.”  It’d be just a little awkward, considering that song was written at a time when Derek and Addison thought they’d end up together, forever, breathing life into each other until the end of time…  Oh, man, I hope Mer didn’t hear the song herself…

Derek just took off, but Addison, Mark, Naomi and Sam are still here – dancing to some old-school jukebox tune.  Oh how I’ve missed Addison!  She cut her hair and got a tan – I must say, she’s looking pretty good.  The question remains, however – why the hell hasn’t she found a man in LaLa Land yet?  This woman is a catch, people!  Well, I suppose some lucky guy will snatch her up soon.  She certainly never had a problem at Seattle Grace…

Alright, as much as I like all the reminiscing, it is TIME FOR THE NIGHT TO END.  I’ve got to go!  Last call was four-and-a-half hours ago.  I miss the twins and I KNOW that Walter is NOT going to be happy, seeing how I’m about to head home at 6:30 in the morning (thank you, Red Bull).  I told Addison to stop by tomorrow – if she gets the chance – so I can get the full scoop about her life down in Los Angeles, and, of course, hear about any uncomfortable moments with the always lovely, (hopefully) soon-to-be-engaged, Meredith Grey.  I’m always down to hear about that.

Until next time…

- Joe the Bartender

Creepy Times

Okay, where to begin…  With the serial killer that’s apparently checked in (and, more recently, out of) the hospital?  With the fighting B.F.F.’s?  The engagement ring that Nurse Debbie SWEARS she saw Derek carrying down the hall?  Izzie Stevens talking to herself?  Mark Sloan breaking himself?  Ah, so much crazy, so little time…

The whole Jeffrey-Dahmer-is-at-Seattle-Grace thing really freaked me out when I heard about it the other day.  And, if it scared the crap out of me, then I can only IMAGINE what it did to the doctors over there.  The whole idea was just creepy.  I mean, he’s a DEATH ROW PRISONER, people.  The dude obviously didn’t just run a few traffic signals and refuse to pay the fines..  He must’ve done something really, really bad…

I heard that Meredith was actually this whack job’s primary doctor, too.  Knowing Mer, she probably formed some super dark-and-twisty friendship with the guy and ended up kinda liking him.  It wouldn’t surprise me, but I’m sure it’d piss off Derek…

I know that Derek’s dad was murdered a while back (he told me this a few months ago, in between one-too-many glasses of scotch).  I’m not really sure if they ever caught the guy that did it (I didn’t want to ask too many questions).  But, ever since, it’s clear that Derek doesn’t have a lot of patience nor tolerance for murderers and criminals… 

I just hope Mer-Der are able to separate the personal from the professional when treating this dude at SGH, so that Derek can get on with his… PROPOSAL!!!!

That’s right, folks.  Derek plans to propose to Meredith.  I actually JUST heard the news (thank you, Twitter and Nurse Debbie).  Apparently, Deb saw Derek walking around with a RING earlier today.  Yes, a shiny, sparkly, diamond ring that only a world-class neurosurgeon like Derek Shepherd could afford.  Okay, I actually don’t know if it’s expensive, or what it looks like, or where Derek got it, but Nurse Debbie assured me that IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

Now, not to be a Debbie Downer, but… I am CONCERNED.  Yes, I know we should all be reveling in this joyous, monumental news, but I can’t help but feel just a tad bit nervous about the whole thing.  First of all, Meredith and Cristina are STILL not talking, as far as I know.  Does anybody else see the problem there?  Who the hell is Mer gonna freak out to when Derek decides to drop down on one knee and do the deed? 

Mer better not think that she’ll just come on over this way and order 17 tequila shots (that is her current record).  No way.  I won’t allow it.  I’ve seen this scene quite a few times already and I don’t care to see it again…  Mer and Cristina need to patch things up, pronto.  They need each other.  Now, more than ever…

Speaking of people needing people – what the hell is going on with Izzie Stevens?  Girlfriend needs SOMEBODY to give her a quick slap across the face and make her stop talking to herself.  Alex, George, Nurse Debbie, Intern Steve – they’ve all confessed to me about Iz having full-on conversations with herself all around the hospital.  Creepy!  What is going on?  Is it stress?  Exhaustion?  One too many trips to the dermatology wing?  I know you just turned a year older, Iz, but you’re still quite young to be suffering from dementia.  I tell ya, SOMETHING IS UP…

I will, however, tell you what is NOT up…  SLOAN!  Sorry, I couldn’t resist.  Hey, these transitions just write themselves, folks… 

Yes, Sloan is most definitely DOWN for the count.  Evidently, crazy-self-appendectomy-intern Sadie rode him and broke him.  Now, for the record, I wasn’t surprised Mark broke his penis (that, my friends, was just a matter of time).  I was, however, quite intrigued that it was SADIE who did the breaking.  After all this time, I thought it was LEXIE who was in the relationship with McSteamy.

But, Intern Steve – who is in the bar right now, eating all the bar nuts as usual – assures me it was SADIE who made Mark suffer through the entire day.  Hey, I didn’t even know Sadie was into dudes.  I thought it was all about Sadie and Callie.  Man, I guess I was wrong.  Is it a full moon tonight?  Because I feel totally off my game…

Something tells me I haven’t heard the whole story here.  I’ll just wait until Lexie shows up a little later to find out the truth.  She’s not a very good liar…

Until next time…

- Joe the Bartender

Flyin' Solo

It feels like just yesterday, when the storm of the century hit Seattle Grace and made Alex Karev freeze up in an elevator.  Remember that, everybody? 

The hospital had lost its power.  Alex and George were stuck in an elevator with a dying heart patient.  Dr. Burke was yelling some crazy MacGyver heart surgery instructions down the elevator shaft.  Alex picked up a scalpel and HE CHOKED…  Ah, memories.

Cut to TODAY when Alex Karev won the first resident solo surgery and totally ROCKED IT.  That’s right, folks:  I said Alex Karev.  He flew solo and a true surgeon was born.  And a tear falls...

I hear that Yang was the Chief’s first pick, but – since she was disqualified after her interns decided to OPERATE ON THEMSELVES – the Chief made Cristina choose the winner herself.  Which is actually really, really funny (to me) but probably really, really horrible to Cristina.

Seriously.  It must’ve driven Yang mad all day.  You’d think she would’ve picked Meredith.  But, rumor has it that the two have been fighting.  A lot.  Something about Meredith not having Cristina’s back when the Chief heard about that whole crazy-intern-taking-out-her-own-appendix thing. 

Hey, friends fight.  There’s no getting around it.  You fight.  You make up.  You fight again.  You make up again.  I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.  But, when it starts getting personal, well – that’s when things can get ugly.  You know, I hope Meredith and Cristina’s little squabble doesn’t get too personal.  Although, it kind of seems like it already has…  Cristina picking bonafide evil spawn ALEX KAREV over supposed best friend MEREDITH GREY?  Yeah.  There’s definitely some trouble in paradise…

The formerly inseparable bff’s didn’t even sit next to one another at Alex’s impromptu celebration at the bar tonight.  One didn’t even look in the other’s direction.  Cristina in one corner.  Mer in the other.  And, as a result, the night DID NOT feel right.  Come on ladies, will you just kiss and make up?

I tried to coax George into playing mediator (I like to stir the pot sometimes, I can’t help it), but all George wanted to talk about was Izzie.  He thinks something’s seriously wrong with the girl.  I, however, didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary.  She was there, right beside Alex the whole night, all smiles, reveling in her boyfriend’s success.  Okay, so maybe she went to the bathroom quite a bit.  But she was drinking quite a bit, too.  Who knows?!  I hope George is wrong and everything with Iz is alright.

I thought for sure Lexie would’ve stopped by to congratulate Alex, but she didn’t.  And I really wanted to get some more details from her about whack job intern Sadie.  Like, did she really ask for a mirror so she could see her funny friends poke around her insides looking for her appendix?  And – more importantly – is she really a lesbian?  Because, let me tell you, she was all up in Callie’s grill tonight.  The furtive glances, the longing stares, the flirty smiles?  ALL NIGHT LONG?  They were making ME uncomfortable.  Not really.  I kinda dug it.  But, just… get a room, ladies.

Anyhoo – Meredith didn’t stay very long tonight.  She said she had to get home to Derek.  He “had a rough day.”  It was cute.  Mer is really, actually, truly, totally making a go at this whole committed relationship thing.  I’m proud of her.  I’ve seen her come a long way from her days of taking home random strangers from the bar.  And, that, my friends, is a very good thing.

As Meredith was walking out, I couldn’t help but notice Cristina glancing in her direction, watching her best friend go.  I so wanted Yang to get up and follow Mer out the door, as usual.  But, she didn’t.  Okay, it’s official…  Things are definitely personal…

Until next time…

- Joe the Bartender

Major Owen Hunt Reporting for Duty

Well, well, well…  Looks like Seattle Grace will have its very own – and very first – badass, camo-wearing, army-trauma-surgeon walking its halls very, very soon…

His name is Owen Hunt, and, let me just say, the doctor is in, ladies…

I met Dr. Hunt (who insisted I call him Owen) a few hours ago.  I heard about this dude a few weeks ago – back when he allegedly trached a patient with a ballpoint pen.  I don’t really know what that means, but, it’s apparently some crazy-but-awesome MacGyver surgery that ended up saving a guy’s life.

Okay – seriously – how much man-candy can one hospital take??  No doubt, Owen is sure to shake things up at SGH.  I mean, the dude’s clearly as hardcore as they come.  He doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer.  He challenges authority.  He drinks whiskey (but not tonight, because he starts work tomorrow).  And he makes Cristina weak in the knees.  Literally…

Oh, you should’ve seen this one, folks.  Cristina was just about to leave tonight, when she took one look at Owen and stopped DEAD in her tracks.  Right in the middle of the bar.  Going all psycho-stalker-staring crazy.  I witnessed the whole thing!  She froze.  Stunned.  Bewildered.  Unable to move.

I had to walk up to Cristina and ask if everything was okay…  That’s when she shook her head, “no” and proceeded to slowly back out of the bar.  Surprisingly (thankfully), I don’t think Owen saw her.  But, folks…  It.  Was.  Weird.

Although, not quite as weird as a diseased kidney in a jar.

Yes.  A diseased kidney.  In a jar.  Derek came in tonight carrying one and then gave the damn thing to Meredith.  As a “present.”  As an, “I’m sorry I took all of the credit for the clinical trial that YOU developed now please take this diseased kidney in a jar and let’s get out of here and go home and have make-up sex.” 

Well, I guess McDreamy’s plan worked because Meredith was elated with this very special – and very non-FDA approved – form of organ donation.  I didn’t get it.  It looked like that thing that jumped out of that dude’s stomach in Aliens.  What’s so special about a diseased kidney in a jar?  What, does the thing glow or something?  Now that would be cool…

Alright, it’s about closing time, and I’ve got to get some sleep because I know – I just know – tomorrow night’s gonna be a long one.  Okay, so I can admit, I’m kinda looking forward to it.  Dr. Owen Hunt turns SGH upside down tomorrow, and I’ve got a drink with Cristina’s name on it, ready and waiting…

- Joe the Bartender

Cheers to George!

CONGRATULATIONS to none other than Dr. George O’Malley, now a full-fledged resident!!  That’s right folks, Georgie passed his intern exam (finally)!!  Whoo-hooo!!

Just about everybody rolled through the bar tonight to buy George a drink.  And, let me tell you, my man was pretty drunk by the time he left.  Let’s just hope George doesn’t go home tonight and do something crazy… You know, the last time I saw O’Malley this drunk, well, we all know what happened then...

Speaking of Izzie…

It sounded like she got the best non-apology ever from Alex tonight.  By the way, I bought her a shot after she called Alex a “tool.”  Classic!  I mean, evil spawn was acting pretty tool-ish.  Everybody else was giving George high-fives and body shots and where was Alex??  Well, he was all sad and depressed and moping up at the bar – “life sucks,” “Izzie stole my surgery,” “crazy Ava’s gone,” “my cat has cancer,” wah wah!! 

Anyhoo, Alex FINALLY told Izzie he was sorry for acting like a jerk.  Now, he didn’t say those words, exactly, but, he sorta mumbled some roundabout ‘sorry you’re the only one I can be mean to’ speech.  It was all very Alex and, well, at least it was a start.  Hey, it was good enough for Izzie.  She actually sat with him for a while, eventually getting Alex to laugh and – shocker – have a little fun!  Good times, all around.

Now, can somebody please tell me if George and Lexie had a falling out or something?  I thought they were friends.  Best friends.  Well, your best friend doesn’t sit on the opposite side of the bar when you pass your intern exam.  And that’s exactly what Lexie did tonight.  All night.  She didn’t stay for very long, and – you know what – I don’t even think she said good-bye to George.  Actually…  I don’t even think George noticed.  Uh-oh…

Derek made a special – albeit brief – surprise appearance tonight, too.  It didn’t look like he was expecting to see Meredith having so much fun with her friends.  Yeah, it seems like Derek didn’t want to interrupt or intrude, so he left…  Meredith finished her drink and followed her man soon after…

Alright – the bar’s a mess right now.  Intern Steve and company came in and went a little crazy, dousing O’Malley with silly string and beer.  Needless to say, there’s a lot to clean up.  Interns.   Yay for George no longer being one of them…

CHEERS TO GEORGE!

-Joe the Bartender