Grey's Anatomy: The Emerald City Bar

Gametime

I hear there’s a lady up at Seattle Grace that’s about to deliver quints. Quints?! That’s FIVE babies in one woman! Now that’s just crazy talk. The media has been covering the story nonstop. I guess it’s not everyday that a woman delivers FIVE babies. Who woulda thought.

All night, journalists and reporters were coming through the bar. Man, they were ordering shot after shot, beer after beer, jaeger bomb after jaeger bomb. And I thought hospital interns could drink. Anyways… Because it was so busy, I almost had to postpone my monthly darts tournament. Almost… 

But not quite. Yes, every month, I host a friendly little game of darts. And, every month, that friendly little game quickly turns into an all out war among my customers. There’s name calling, trash talking and just a general look-at-me-like-that-again-and-I’ll-shove-this-dart-in-your-eye kind of intensity. It’s pretty great.

Walter got off work early tonight so he could make the competition. Oh-- I’ve been scanning through your comments and a lot of you have been asking about my boyfriend Walter. Well, folks, if you ask, I will deliver. Walter and I were actually set up through a mutual friend about four months ago. When I first met him, he threw some sassy attitude at me, but I quickly put him in his place. It’s been great ever since. He runs a music store over on Pike Street. He’s really a sweet, genuine, honest guy (and, believe me, there’s a shortage of that type here in Seattle).

But back to the tournament. It eventually came down to Walter and me vs. George and Nurse Debbie. Now, Nurse Debbie, of course, is known for throwing bulls-eye after bulls-eye. Surprisingly, George is also pretty good, but tonight, he just wasn’t in the zone. He was off his game. Needless to say, George choked and my team was able to bring home the gold.

I talked to George afterwards (who, I might add, has always been a great sport), and I found out that something is on that boy’s mind. Or, rather, someone. “Who! Who?” I demanded that he tell me the name of the girl who basically just caused him to lose the tournament. But, good ole George wasn’t talking. Okay, so it took a few more shots, but he eventually caved… “Meredith!” he said. Yikes. Bad idea, I told him. These two do not belong together! They’re at completely different places in their lives. Not to mention… They’re roommates! George said he plans on asking Meredith out on a date. I begged him, please, whatever he does, please do not call it a “date.” If anything, it should be casual, right? He said he’s sick of playing games and ready to just bite the bullet. Oh boy. This one should be interesting. Clearly, the upside to being a bartender is that everybody tells you everything. It’s also the downside. Until next time…

-Joe the Bartender

Sixth Sense

As a bartender, I get the opportunity to meet and greet people from all walks of life.  Just about every facet of human existence is alive and well inside the confines of a bar.  So, it should come as no surprise then, that I possess a finely-honed sixth sense about people.  I’m pretty much able to know what someone’s all about within the first two minutes of meeting him or her.  Personally, I think my razor-sharp people instinct is a gift.  It’s part of the reason why people seem to like me so much.

Okay so my point is (and I do have a point), Meredith put this sixth sense of mine to work last night at the bar.  Some dude rolled up to her and ended up buying her a drink.  I layed low for a little while, casually pretending not to listen to their conversation.  (Note:  I always do this, not because I’m nosy, but because it’s my duty to protect my female customers from the countless number of evil, drunk bastards who come into Emerald City looking to take advantage of sweet, innocent girls.)

Well, I witness a few minutes of heavy flirting along with a bunch of Meredith’s cute little giggles thrown in for good measure. Soon after, the guy politely excuses himself to the bathroom.  That’s when Meredith asked what I thought.  We deliberated.  And, my sixth sense delivered.  I didn’t see any fancy flowers.  I didn’t hear any wedding bells.  I didn’t feel any long-term relationship kind of vibe.  Yes, this guy was all about the one night stand.  And, it turned out that Meredith was fine with that!  Right now, all she’s up for is a little fun.  Why not?  The poor girl deserves to have a little bit of that, don’t you think?   I mean, it’s not like she’s hurting anyone… 

Anyways, when the guy got back to his seat, Meredith stood up and took his hand.  Then they bolted.  It was great!  I say, good for Meredith.  I’m sure I’ll hear all about it tomorrow…

Oh—thank you to everyone who sent me all of those great pumpkin pie recipes.  I actually tried to make Karen in Houston’s recipe, but ended up burning it to a crisp!  Walter made me buy one from the grocery store.  Oh well.  I tried.

The dinner party at Izzie’s turned out to be a lot of fun.  You know, until then, I never really had the opportunity to get to know Dr. Burke, or rather, Preston.  I am SO glad that Cristina brought him to dinner because Dr. Preston Burke is now my new hero.  If you could only see the way that man cooks.  He turned cooking a turkey into a fine art form.  It was amazing.  I wish I could have stayed to taste it, but I had to open up the bar.  In case you didn’t know, Thanksgiving is one of my busiest days of the year.  Which would explain why I’m so freakin’ exhausted right now.

-Joe the Bartender

Iron Chef Wannabe

Allow me to share a little secret fantasy (as well as a recurring dream) of mine.  It’s pretty simple and straightforward: 

I’m in my house and I seem to be playing host at a lavish dinner party.  I see all of my closest friends patiently sitting around an elaborately-set table.  They’re eagerly awaiting the seven-course, gourmet meal that I’ve spent days preparing.  Okay, cut to the staff of waiters I’ve personally hired as they BURST out of my kitchen, holding plates upon plates of food.  My guests are elated!  Their eyes go wide.  Their mouths drop to the floor.  A little bit of drool even escapes my friend Tony’s mouth.  They begin to eat and delight in every last bite.  As for me, well, I can do nothing except smile.  Having gone all Iron Chef on their asses, I’m extraordinarily proud of my cooking talent and accomplishment.

Alright, so this may come as a bit of a surprise to all of you, but, all my life, I’ve really just wanted to be able to do one thing:  cook.  My customers frequently refer to me as a genius when it comes to mixing alcoholic drinks.  However, when it comes to preparing food -- well, I’m a complete moron.  If I knew my way around a kitchen as well as I knew my way around a bar, I feel like all my problems would be solved.  I’d be living in a shiny little happy place.  It sounds silly, I know, but, geez, electric whisks are just so sexy! 

Anyways.  I’ve got a Thanksgiving dinner party at Meredith’s coming up and I’ve decided to bring a pumpkin pie.  I’ve got butterflies in my stomach just thinking about baking, but I’m going to do it!  I am going to keep on keep keepin’ on and make the best freakin’ pumpkin pie in the history of all pies that are pumpkin.

So.  Does anybody out there have any good, old-fashioned, drool-inducing recipes for me?  Maybe a pumpkin pie your grandmother used to make?  I’m talking something really, really tasty and delicious.  Let me know…

-Joe the Bartender

Like the new look?

Hope you all like the new look of the site. Nurse Debbie has been giving me tips on how to improve mine -- have you seen her blog at www.seattlegracegossip.com ?

Anyways, sorry for the lack of posts lately, but between the bar and the new site and all -- haven't had a whole lot of time to actually post much. But I promise to catch up! Talk to you all soon!

Walking the Walk

Originally posted on 10/17/05

Every night, I see two types of people in the bar: Those that are able to throw back the six shots of diesel tequila they order, and those that just talk a big game, eventually chickening out. For you non-bar hopping folk, that's the same thing as saying there are those who talk the talk and those who walk the walk. Well, my friends, tonight, Alex was definitely the one who threw his tequila back and walked the walk. My man came in, turned Izzie around and gave her a kiss so hot it made the beer tap dry. He used tongue. And lots of it.

So, are Alex and Izzie a couple now? Somebody fill me in. Are they the next Burktina (that's Burke and Cristina)? Personally, I don't think Alex is ready to settle down just yet. But, who knows, I could be wrong. I hope I am. They make a cute couple. And, if anybody could tame Alex, it would be Izzie.

I'm glad everybody was there to witness this monumental event. Even Meredith made it, after her very long, extremely exhausting day. I think she's seen better days. Poor girl. Keep your head up, Mer.

I've got a little buzz going on. Apparently, Cristina ran into some money tonight after selling tickets to her surgery on that teradactyl, I mean tumortoma, no--theateroma, okay whatever, you get the idea. Anyway, she was buying everybody drinks tonight and she forced me to take a couple shots. Now, normally, I don't drink on the job. But, if you're ever fortunate enough to meet Cristina, then you'll understand why I took those shots. And besides, I've always been the type who not only talks the talk, but walks the walk. I had to oblige.

Train Wreck

Originally posted on 10/16/05

I just heard that McSteamy finally made his choice. What the hell is he thinking?! The dude picked Addison? The salmon colored scrub wearing surgeon who moonlights as Satan's whore gets the boy? Seriously?!

Alright, I just had to get that out. I feel horrible for Meredith. She's got to be heartbroken. You should have seen her in the bar a couple hours ago. She was drunk (tequila, of course) and was pouring her heart out to me. Apparently, Meredith had told McSteamy to meet her here if he picked her. Well, McSteamy showed up… Only one problem: he was late. When I saw him walk in (after everyone had left to deal with that disastrous train wreck), I thought for sure he had decided to pick Meredith. But, I guess not. Now I don't even know if I can serve that guy in here anymore. He's got some explaining to do first.

Anyway, it was a pretty slow night. All because some redneck tried to outrun a train. I guess that did a pretty good job of clearing the bar out. Man, time seemed to just stand still. I hate nights like that. They're worse than the nights when my bar is filled with drunken frat boys from U-Dub who shake their ice at me or shatter their shot glasses after ordering Jaeger bomb after Jaeger bomb and then proceeding to fight over games of pool and darts. But I digress. Until next time…

All That Glitters Ain't Gold

Originally posted on 10/15/05

Wow. You should've seen Izzie Stevens tonight. She came into the bar dressed like I've never seen her before. Three guys tried to hit on her, but, of course, big brother Joe came in with the save.

Now, I know Izzie used to be a model, but… just… wow. Apparently, those 40 hour shifts that she's been putting into Seattle Grace haven't affected her modeling figure one bit. She looked pretty hot, what can I say. I was about to ask who the lucky guy was, but then Alex came in and, well, I immediately knew. You should've seen Izzie's face light up. Surprisingly, that's when things got really strange. It was almost as if Alex froze up when he saw how great Izzie looked. He didn't have his game face on, I can tell you that. You know what else? He didn't even hold the door open for Izzie when they left. What a jackass.

Just about the same time, there was another storm brewing on the other side of the bar… The Derek and Meredith saga continues. I don't know what they were arguing about for sure, but Meredith stormed out of the room. And Derek was right behind her. Now, I had heard something about unsigned divorce papers earlier on in the night from Nurse Debbie (she's always got the good gossip), so I bet that's what all the fuss was about. If I were Derek, I would've signed those papers as soon as Addison handed them over. I'm not sure I care for that woman too much. For one thing, Addison hasn't even stepped foot in this bar before. That tells me something. Maybe she'll prove me wrong one day, but I'd rather she just got her ass back to New York and leave my girl Meredith alone. Yes, Derek has quite a decision on his hands. Meredith or Addison? Two beautiful woman. Poor guy... I can't wait to see how this one pans out.

Oh, and I would tell you about how I just had to forcibly remove this one drunken fellow out of my bar (it was that psych dude -- he decided to get totally plastered tonight), but I'm way too exhausted. I've got to get some sleep. Plus, I'm going to visit Cristina in the hospital tomorrow morning. I hear her mom is in town. Haha, good times. Until next time…

Judy dolls… Seriously!?

Originally posted on 10/8/05

So apparently there was some dude in the hospital last week because he had swallowed ten Judy doll heads. Okay. Let me tell you something. In all my 14 years of owning the bar across the street from Seattle Grace, I've never heard anything as crazy as that! You ever see one of those cute little Judy dolls? I think my niece, Samantha, has Chinese New Year Judy and Pretty Pop Princess Judy. Don't ask. Anyways. Next time I see her playing with them, I'm telling you, it's just not gonna be the same.

Alex came in and told me the whole horrific Judy doll story. I think he got a kick out of it. And speaking of Alex, something's going on with that kid. I mean, tonight he actually paid for his drinks. This is Alex I'm talking about here. You know -- evilspawn, rat boy, Judy doll dismembering Alex. He's my boy and everything, but the kid has a running tab at my bar that currently totals $930.67. He doesn't pay for his drinks. Something is up. I'm sure I'll find out what it is soon enough.

Alright I gotta go and order some more tequila. Lately, the interns have been going through that stuff like water. Until next time...

Back From the Dead

Originally posted on 10/2/05

That's right, folks. I am now a testament to the modern miracle of medicine. They brought me back from the dead! Yes, I went into the light. For 45 minutes, I checked out of this world and was bathed in the luminous rays of that bright white shiny light. No fights to break up. No glasses to clean. No drunken bastards to stiff me on tips. It was heaven. Literally.

The doctors at Seattle Grace called it a standstill operation, or something like that. They literally froze my body, drained my blood, stopped my heart, clipped my brain aneurysm and brought me back to life. One minute I'm counting backwards, looking up at McDreamy like he's crazy, and the next I'm waking up with Alex in my face. You know Alex, the kid who got his ass kicked by George. Yeah, George layed Alex out cold! Can you believe it? That's almost as hard to believe as me surviving this whole standstill thing.

Part of me wanted to survive the surgery just so I can see what happens between these two. I mean, this cannot be good for Alex's rep. It's gotta be a major blow to that kid's mojo. As for George, well, I owe my life to him. Without any insurance, I had no idea how to pay for this fancy operation. Somehow, George managed to get a privately funded grant to pay for my surgery. That's why, from now on, George drinks for free down at the bar.

And if my sweet little kitten of joy Cristina thinks that I'm just gonna forget about her pregnancy, she's got another thing coming. I don't think she's planning on keeping it. I wonder if Dr. Burke is ever going to find out... Only time will tell. I barely know the guy, but he seems nice enough.

So, now it's just back to working at my bar, livin' the dream and watchin' other people live theirs. Speaking of which, you should've seen Meredith tonight. Man, she was tossing those tequila shots back like water. I must say, I was pretty impressed. I just feel bad for whoever has to take care of her in the morning. Not gonna be pretty. Alright, that's enough for tonight. Until next time…

- Joe the Bartender

For more information about cerebral aneurysms go to www.ninds.nih.gov/aneurysm