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Smells like...

Seattle Grace smells funny.  I’m not just talking about the kind of standard hospital scent that overpowers your nostrils with Lysol and ammonia…  No, I speak of a much more complex aroma.  A strong, robust, seasoned fragrance.  An odor that reeks of widespread gossip, secret trysts, unabashed ambition and – perhaps most of all – guilt.

Ah, yes, the guilt.  Meredith Grey must’ve bathed in that stuff last night.  I walked into her hospital room this morning and the pungent stench of guilt was the only thing to smell.  No more lavender.  Just guilt.   Yeah.  The guilt was just seeping out of Mer’s pores.

I decided to bring Meredith some flowers.  You know, to celebrate her discharge from the hospital and rejoice because George didn’t kill Meredith in her appendectomy surgery.  It turned out that Mer wasn’t exactly in the mood to celebrate.  You see, last night, she made her decision.  And the winner is… 

Nobody.  Yet.  Let me explain.

Apparently, Mer dumped McVet.  Let me just say, it’s about freakin’ time!  Now can I do my little happy dance and chant “I told you so, I told you so”!!!!????

Finally!!  McVet is gone.  Outta the picture.  Yesterday’s news.  G-O-N-E for G-O-O-D.  Okay, so he was a great guy.  He saved little kittens.  Wah wah, big deal.  I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:  McDreamy and Meredith all the way.

Anyways, it was a little difficult to do my little happy dance properly because Meredith just kept staring at me with those big, glassy, guilt-ridden eyes.  Okay, what was her problem?

Well, for starters, she hasn’t told McDreamy that she dumped McVet.  I handed her my cell phone and told her to make the call.  She wasn’t playing.  It was then when I started to feel bad for Mer…

You see, Meredith told me, on one hand, she’s glad she made the decision.  On the other hand, she knows – she just knows – that Derek is going to hurt her again.  Okay, we all know that Meredith has been in a countless number of fun, enjoyable, pleasurable positions with Derek.  Yeah, those are some great positions.  But, the current arrangement of being in love with someone that’s more than likely going to hurt you, again?  Seriously?  Not much fun, enjoyment or pleasure is coming out of that one.

And, while I’m blogging about fun, enjoyment and pleasure…  McSteamy and Callie?  You know where I’m going with this one, folks.  They were both in the bar last night.  To be honest, I couldn’t really tell who was picking up who!  All I know is that they left together.  After they each downed a few drinks.

Now, before you get all irate about Callie becoming an honorary member of the DMC (that’s Dirty Mistresses Club), she told me that she broke up with George.  So, technically, Callie can do whatever her heart desires.  And, from the looks of it, Callie’s heart desires a little McSteamy action.  Honestly, who can blame her?

Oh!  I almost forgot to tell you about Izzie and Denny’s dad in the bar yesterday.  I gave them their privacy, but it looked like Izzie got pretty emotional.  And, so did Denny’s father.  I saw him hand an envelope over to Izzie before she left.  It was all kind of inconspicuous.

Dude.  I really, really, really want to know what the heck is in that envelope.  The wheels in my head are definitely spinning on this one.  The whole thing is a little weird.  Who else smells something fishy?  I’m sure I’ll find out soon enough.  Until next time…

-Joe the Bartender

McSteaminess

Well, well, well...  Looks like a little bird that goes by the name of McSteamy has spread his little whorish wings and decided to make a crash landing right here in Seattle.  It’s only been a few days since Dr. Mark Sloan has been in town, but from what I could tell after talking to him earlier tonight, he doesn’t plan on leaving anytime soon.  At least, not without Addison…

I was adding some new tunes to the jukebox when I saw McSteamy waltz right up to my bar.  I instantly recognized him.  Hey, I’m not one who easily forgets a pissy plastic surgeon whose idea of a “tip” was reminding me to carry an umbrella when it’s raining outside.  McJackass.  I’m also not one who easily forgets a pissy plastic surgeon who sports a well-chiseled mug along with a pretty flawless body to match.  McSix-Pack, anyone?

Yeah – I remembered this dude from the last time he came to town.  And, he remembered me too.  Started acting all chummy with me.  Seriously.  Like I was his best friend.  Well, hate to break it to you, McSteamy, but I will never have a wife for you to sleep with.  I asked him if he still wanted to be my best friend… 

Okay, so maybe that was a low blow, but I owe Dr. Shepherd my life.  I’m on his side.  I don’t trust this McSteamy skank one bit.  However, once he started sliding twenties my way after each double scotch, single malt (and, trust me, this dude can drink), I cut him some slack.  Yes, I engaged in a little, friendly conversation with Dr. Mark Sloan.  What?!  I see you over there looking at me like that.  I did it for you guys!  I did it so that I’d have something to blog about!  People!  He’s…  he’s…  so, so…  McSteamy!

So, it turns out Mark has been staying not too far from the hospital…  At a really posh hotel.  On the 22nd floor.  With Addison!  She apparently summoned McSteamy to her hotel room after she left the bar the other night.  Seriously.  Mark flew all the way out here for a little fun on the 22nd floor?  Dude.  That’s a long way for a booty call.

A booty call?  Mark doesn’t necessarily see it that way.  At least, he doesn’t want to see it that way.  Nope.  You see, McSteamy thinks he has a real chance with Addison.  He thinks he has a real chance of bringing Addison home to New York.  After all, there’s nothing keeping Addison in Seattle any longer, right?

Maybe.  Maybe not.  I’ll admit it.  I know I was a little harsh on Addison when I first met her.  But, I’ve grown to love her.  I’d seriously miss seeing that little firecracker in my bar from time to time.  She’s hilarious.  She’s fun.  She’s smart.  She’s hot.  You know, it’s really not too hard to figure out why Mark wants Addison to go back to New York with him…

Dude.  McSteamy is going to be trouble…

- Joe the Bartender