Grey's Anatomy: The Emerald City Bar

The Sky Has Fallen

When Alex walked into the bar tonight, I immediately knew that today had been one of those days up at Seattle Grace.  Usually, I see confident Alex.  Cocky Alex.  You know – The evil spawn, pig boy version of Alex that’s always able to make me chuckle by poking a little fun at George.  Tonight?  I didn’t get any of that…

I got troubled Alex, instead.

Seriously – Tonight, I got the dark and twisty, self-reflective Alex.  The Alex that kept asking all kinds of questions about his purpose and the meaning of life.  The Alex that didn’t stop to make one snarky comment about poor George.  People!  I got the freakin’ Alex that only has one beer and then leaves!

It was all very, very strange.  And all it really told me was one thing:  Mad drama went down over at the hospital today.  Thanks to my highly advanced bartending skills, however, I was able to find out what happened.

And…  Well…  Burke and Cristina happened.  That’s what happened.

No wonder why I haven’t seen Cristina in the bar in a really, really long time.  She was a little busy.  Yeah.  I would imagine that covering for Dr. Preston Burke – one of the nation’s foremost cardiothoracic surgeons – would keep a girl’s schedule pretty tight.

Alex told me that Dr. Burke had developed some sort of hand tremor after his surgery.  It turns out that, all this time, Cristina had been helping Burke operate even though he wasn’t fully recovered.  Anyway, all of this came to light after Cristina went to the Chief.  She just couldn’t handle it anymore.  I guess everything was bubbling up inside of her – ready to explode – and, well, today Cristina exploded.

Honestly, though, what did they expect?  Burke and Cristina couldn’t keep their secret forever, could they?  It was only a matter of time before something really awful – something really tragic – happened as a result of their lie.  Luckily, nothing horrible happened.  Nobody died.  None of their patients were adversely affected.  Thankfully.

I don’t understand how Derek cleared Burke for surgery.  I don’t understand how Meredith didn’t say anything.  Are Mer and Der really that self involved?  They’re caught up in their problems.  They’re mad one minute, they’re happy the next, they’re sad, cheerful, no now they’re dark, they’re down – OKAY.  Could those two have gotten off their little emotional roller coaster for just a second and realized what was going on around them??

In all fairness, I guess, Burke’s hand wasn’t constantly shaking.  So, maybe Derek didn’t see any signs that Burke wasn’t fully recovered.  And, maybe Meredith didn’t know.  Maybe Cristina never really honestly confided in her best friend.  Now that I think about it, Cristina does have quite the poker face.

Ah, Burke and Cristina.  Seriously.  What will now become of Burktina?  Dude, I’d love to be a fly on the wall over at that apartment tonight.  I’m sure I’d see lots of discussion.  Lots of heated debate.  Maybe some scalpels will even be thrown across the room.  Nah.  On second thought, who knows if those two will ever speak again?

Man, Alex was right.  The sky has definitely fallen at Seattle Grace Hospital.  I wonder what George has to say about all of this.  Although, I don’t expect to see him around here too much, with his dad being in the hospital and all.  As a matter of fact, I need to give George a call.  I hope he’s doing okay…

Until next time…

-Joe the Bartender

Mountain Men In The Wild

I, Joe the Bartender, hereby declare that I will never, ever, ever again – under any circumstances – venture into the woods with the following individuals:  Alex Karev, George O’Malley, Preston Burke, Richard Webber and Derek Shepherd…

UNLESS!

Unless I am accompanied by a highly skilled chaperone who possesses enough patience to teach basic camping skills that a mere twelve-year-old could execute in his sleep.

Seriously, folks.  Today was insane.  Who knew that a simple, innocent little camping trip with the fellas would turn into …disaster?!

George called me last night to tell me that he was joining Derek and Burke on a little camping expedition.  Well, Walter and I jump at any opportunity to be one with nature, so …I was thrilled.  Terra incognita, George exclaimed.  Yeah, you can say that again.  Let me tell you, folks, this camping trip led me through some pretty damn uncharted territory.

Alex was in the bar when I took George’s call.  He asked me why I was so excited, so I told him about the trip.  Then, Alex started asking me all sorts of questions about tents and hiking and campfires and fishing.  I could tell he wanted to go.  Maybe he didn’t want to be left out.  Yeah, Alex wanted to be a mountain man in the wild!

I don’t know, maybe it was the alcohol that was talking because I never would’ve pegged Alex as the outdoorsy type.  But, when I invited him, this huge smirk started to form across his face.  I told him I could lend him some gear.  He was pretty tickled.

So, this morning, Burke, Derek, George and Chief Webber show up, ready to head out.  That’s right… Chief Webber!  Seriously.  The dude had one of those suitcases with wheels on it.  Oh, man, you should’ve seen the Chief drag his premium luggage to the campsite.  It was great.

At one point during the hike in, we had to trek across a tiny, little creek.  Derek was in the lead (as a matter of fact, McDreamy seemed to always be way ahead of everybody else), followed by Alex (who was upset he got some water in his shoe), Burke (who was really taking in the fresh air) and George (who became truly ecstatic when he saw some crayfish).  Then came Walter and I.  We were discussing the types of trees that surrounded us, when we heard a muffled, little plea coming from behind.  It was the Chief.

We turned around and there was poor Chief Webber – carrying his picnic basket, rolling suitcase and all – precariously balancing himself on the few rocks that separated his unsteady feet from the creek water.  Right before he started to flail his arms and wet his brand new, expensive-looking hiking shoes, I rushed over and helped him out.  Richard took my arm as I led him to safety.  I carried his picnic basket the rest of the way for him.  Yeah, I know.  I’m a good guy.

We finally arrived at the campsite.  Then, the real fun began.  Tent assembly!  Yay!  Alex had some serious trouble pitching his tent.  It was pretty hilarious.  Almost as hilarious as Burke’s awesome, top of the line tent that looked like it came straight out of the movie “Out of Africa.”  It was very…  Dr. Preston Burke.  What can I say?

Pretty soon, Derek wanted to go fishing.  To be honest, he seemed a bit frustrated.  In fact, the entire morning, McDreamy was McGrouchy.  I couldn’t understand why.  I mean, he wanted space from Meredith, right?  Well, he was getting his space from Meredith.  Why was he acting so cranky??

Anyways, Walter and I decided we needed some alone time, so we left the group to go hike.  Ah, it was so nice to be able to take in Washington’s sheer beauty.  I’ve lived here for all my life.  And, I never plan to leave.  After an hour or so, we returned to the campsite.  And, that’s when disaster struck…

We returned to find George and Alex smacking the hell out of each other.  What in the world was this?  A freakin’ slap fight?  You have got to be kidding me!  Alex apparently told George about Callie and McSteamy doing the deed.  George didn’t believe it.  Alex wouldn’t take it back.  So, it’s only natural that a slap fight developed, right?  I tell ya, the straights are so crazy sometimes!

So there I was – standing on the smack down sideline – expecting Alex to go down any second, when …Walter goes down instead!

That’s right, Alex and George (McDumb and McDumber) knock Walter over and the next thing I see is my man’s face hitting a jagged rock.  It was all very scary.  Luckily, it wasn’t as bad as it looked.  And, luckily, I had three world renowned surgeons there to help.

Dr. Burke stitched Walter’s face up with a fishing hook.  A damn fishing hook!  It was pretty amazing.

Soon, we decided to cut our camping trip short and head home.  And, let me tell you, I was more than ready.  I wanted to get back to the bar …As far, far away from picnic baskets and slap fights and crazy MacGyver surgeries that I could get!

On the way home, George kept asking me weird questions about Dr. Burke.  Questions like:  Have I noticed anything out of the ordinary about Burke lately?  Ummm, not really?  Something was on George’s mind.  I could tell he wanted to tell me something, but he just couldn’t…

Anyhow, three hours later, we were back in Seattle.  Home sweet home.  I went by the bar, just to make sure everything was running smoothly in my absence.  On my way in, I passed McSteamy coming out.  He didn’t look too happy.  In fact, he had that trademark McSteamy scowl thing going on.  What was his problem?  Well, whatever...  He was probably on his way to spread his McSteamy seed elsewhere.

I go inside the bar and guess who I see …McDreamy and Meredith!  Together.  They were talking, laughing, smiling…  It looked like they were back to being the adorable couple that they once were.  Seriously.  It was delightful.

Derek seemed to be in a much better mood.  Maybe the whole space thing actually worked.  I hope so.  Because seeing Mer and Der actually happy together?  It was awesome.  It was refreshing.  It was really freakin’ cute.

Alright, I hear Walter calling for some more headache medicine.  Poor guy.  Gotta go…

- Joe the Bartender

The DMC

It turns out that my bar seems to have become the official meeting ground for the Dirty Mistresses Club.  Not that I have any problem with that.  Really, I don’t.  It just would’ve been nice if somebody other than Mark Sloan would’ve filled me in on the news.  That dude still gives me the creeps.  Yeah he’s pretty to look at and I definitely wouldn’t kick him out of bed for eating crackers but, come on, the dude’s an ass!

McSteamy was in the bar last night drinking up a storm.  Seriously.  He’s been in here a lot lately.  Almost as much as Alex.  Anyways, when Meredith, George, Alex and Izzie walked in, I noticed that McSteamy’s eyes were locked on Mer.  It didn’t take long for Dr. Sloan to sidle up to Meredith and mumble something about the DMC.  Ah, the two dirty mistresses.  McSteamy seemed flirty.  Mer did not.  Awesome.  What is this dude up to now?

Aside from Mark Sloan, it was nice to see everybody together in the bar again.  Izzie seemed to be doing great.  Glad to see she’s finally getting back on her feet.  Alex and George?  They’re the same.  Antagonizing each other like a pair of four-year-olds.  You should’ve seen them.  George kept referring to Alex as “Mark Sloan’s McBitchboy.”  Yeah.  Apparently, Alex has been catering to Dr. Sloan’s every wish and command.  Poor Alex.  He has high hopes of getting into plastics.  For what, I asked him.  To work with Dr. Sloan?  That doesn’t sound too appealing, does it?

Of course, there was one person who was noticeably absent last night.  Cristina Yang.  I haven’t seen her around in a while.  Now, I know she’s fiercely competitive and ambitious, but is she seriously spending every waking moment in that hospital?  Since when has Cristina Yang been too tired to come across the street and enjoy a little cocktail from big brother Joe?? 

Meredith confirmed that something’s wrong with Cristina.  Very, very wrong.  She thinks Cristina may be mad at her.  Okay, enough with the guilt, Mer.  Guilt is so …last week.

Maybe Cristina’s having problems with her man?  Mer didn’t think so.  She said that Cristina and Dr. Burke have been working closely together for days…  Everything seemed to be fine with them.  They seemed to be working together extremely well.  Who knows what could be wrong with Cristina…  Only time will tell, I guess.

I mentioned to Meredith that Derek came into the bar with his sister yesterday.  They had what looked like a nice little family reunion.  They laughed.  They argued.  They argued a little more.  You know, like family.  It was cute.

Meredith smiled.  I asked her how things with McDreamy were going these days.  Apparently, she’s now giving Derek something called “space.” 

Space??  I don’t like the sound of that.  And, neither does Meredith.  Apparently, it’s a Derek idea. 

Anyway, on that note, Mer asked for a shot of tequila.  Ah, yes.  Tequila-drinking, space-giving, DMC member Meredith Grey.  It was nice to see her. 

Until next time…

-Joe the Bartender